FALCONS SIGN RYAN TO $72 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT WITH $35 GUARANTEED
This is hilarious for several reasons:
1) He's going to "compete" with Joey Harrington and Chris Redman for the starting job. This is like saying I "compete" with bull-frogs in a knot tying contest. No, actually, it's akin to saying that I will "compete" with Joey Harrington and Chris Redman for the starting job in Atlanta. I would actually give the bull-frogs a slight chance.
2) His first pass will be an interception.
3) I will be the first to post an animated gif of him throwing the ball into the ass of his lineman/a player from the opposing team, or perhaps hitting himself in the head with the ball (see: THIS).
4) The Falcons, after four straight 0 win seasons, will be forced to start an aging Joey Harrington, pinning their hopes on the great white hope from Oregon. Three weeks later, they will steal away in the middle of the night, like the Baltimore Colts, and suddenly arrive in Los Angeles.
5) Michael Vick will have been ass raped thirteen times and shanked twice in the prison yard by this time.
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