Like the little match girl...

So now the Internet has another blog, and another blog about sports, popular culture, and all things that suck about Ohio State.

The Internet is undoubtedly thrilled at this prospect.

Despite the fact that nobody will ever read this, and the only people who will stumble across it will be people that I know personally and the occasional Hong Kong businessman looking for 'free swedish nudes,' I feel like I should lay out my plans for the future of this blog:

1) I will take a less than serious approach at investigating Michigan Football. I'd say I'll be doing this from an "every man's" point of view, but I hate that expression, so I'll be looking at it from a Sea Otter's point of view.

It's like the every man point of view, except cuter and involves much more hand holding to prevent floating away into the deep blue sea of pain and uncertainty.


2) In order to do something unique, I'll try to institute features that describe Michigan football (or Tigers Baseball, or Pistons Basketball, or whatever else suits my fancy) using cleverly disguised non-sequitur analogies and quantifying the unquantifiable.

For example: let's say super stud Freshman O-Lineman Dan O'Neill is listed as a starter during the season opener against Utah. Well, then we might say that Dan's song of the day is "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. This is because we'll all be watching him closely, hoping that our tender 18 year old Offensive Guard can carry the weight of the hopes and dreams of an entire Wolverine Nation on his ample shoulders.

It's also probable that awards will be handed out for things that stick out in particular games, especially things that mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

For example, MARIO MANNINGHAM DOING THE WORM after the team salvages its entire 2007 season is probably something I'll want to focus on, perhaps more than the actual salvaging of the season.


3) Due to the fact that I know absolutely nobody of any importance in the Michigan athletic department, and that since I have to work for a living, Michigan football stories will probably taper off during these painfully dull months. So that's why I'll focus on other passions such as American Idol, food, golf, baseball, beer snobbery, the Summer Olympics (which I possess an undying love for), and whatever else that I deem to be of some significance. Of course, Michigan football trumps all other things, because there is nothing more important than Michigan football, but I do need a space to let things out from time to time.

Also, if I do actually get a few more writers for this blog (mainly the people who will ever visit this blog), they'll write about whatever they write about. And you'll damn well like it.


4) This blog is also about dogs that dress up like humans.

Professor Dusty holds office hours.

So hopefully this warrants a daily/weekly/yearly pity check for when you're trying to kill time and prevent yourself from doing something that you're supposed to be doing while on the computer.

Enjoy.